A humbling experience...Life is

Study break! I'm tired of looking at definitions and the topic of reconciliation has been on my mind this last 2 weeks. We had a discussion on small groups about what it means to reconcile to others and there were some insightful thoughts. Two things.

If you're looking for someone to blame, look no further than yourself. As Christians, we are invited to live life radically and counter-culturally. This is a difficult situation in any, but particularly in reconciliation. First, an understanding that reconciliation seems unmerited in some situations, and I would agree. The idea that I should forgive those who mistreat others seems very unfair. With the garden varieties of things people could do to mistreat others, how do you know what to do? That is, how do you know when to reconcile or forgive and forget? A radical idea but it's hard to accept personally.

Second, reconciliation has to be received in order to be complete. If one person forgives but the other person takes no fault, there is no reconciliation. Reconciliation is only complete when there is forgiveness and restoration of the relationship that was damaged. Like Christ came down and reconciled us through the redemptive work of the cross, the idea of reconciliation is more than just forgiveness. Even in forgiveness there is restoration to some degree, but I think we are to fully restore the broken bonds.

This is very toilsome. To have the idea and belief to forgive others no matter what the situation calls for. I thought about this for a while. To try to reason why it doesn't make sense to reconcile, but my spirit confirms that we are the ones who are reconciled. Christians have no right now since we are changed by the blood of Christ. I don't think we have a right in retribution. If we do, then Christ becomes less and our own "justice" becomes the idol in our relationship with Christ.

Being called to the ministry of reconciliation, Christ commends us to work hard towards helping the weak to receive the words of Jesus. Through God's grace, we are able to build up and gain strength in our times of hardships and painful times.

Christ followers! I appeal to you for the sake of Christ, reconcile to other for He has gone through great length to be reconciled to us! Our hearts are already heavy with our longing to be reunited with Christ and we do not need this burdensome thoughts and feelings to bind us down.

-Vegas

yeah

Reading Isaiah these days and its pretty dense. I dont usually like reading the old testament because of the language and lot of the sayings are correlated to other scriptures. But Im getting a lot out of Isaiah. God is just furious and angry with his people, but he still has his hand upraised. I guess after knowing Jesus its easy for me to say this but Jesus is all over the new testament. The prophecies are given through Isaiah and even from Genesis.

Even with all the uncertainties of life, God is still true to us. There are no maybes or perhaps with God. I think we choose to reject the truth and chase after false things. I think even in our falsehood, God is working in us to have us revealed to him. That our sufferings would turn us towards him! There are some big changes that are coming up within this year. I am scared to face them. I hope God speaks to me and that i would be patient enough to hear it.

hello

Hey so I wanted to post these quotes I got from this movie "A River Runs Through It." I've been watching a lot of movies lately because i always hear so much about great movies but never got the chance to actually watch them. Anyways this movie was great! There are some great lines said.

"Why is that the people who need the most help wont take it?"

Now that I wrote it, it doesn't sound so great but i think its true. Its hardest to approach God sometimes when I'm going through some of the most difficult times, and it hurts even more because I try to fix it with other things like TV or phasing out with friends or something. God is calling to us to be revealed but we refuse. It hurts.

"But we can still love them. We can love completely without completely understanding."

With some people, we just dont understand them. We dont understand the things they say or do and I wonder if this is a barrier to have compassion for others.

I'm not going to add anything else now. Hope this blesses you those who run across this.

Simplicity

So I think this new years season has finally hit me, because I am looking to change things without any special event or something new I'm looking for. First, I am trying the generic thing of trying to get into shape by running, and its been working quite well. I feel much better with daily activities and am more conscious of my eating habits. I could never convice myself that working out makes you more happy but now i think I've gotten a little closer to believing.

I wonder what it takes to make change, or even make decisions to change. Time is not waiting for change , its just cruising along like time does but I find myself similar in many ways (not all but many). Maybe we dont have the pressure of time that forces us to change. Maybe we feel immoral in some way.

Even my thoughts are 2 steps ahead of my actions and I can never catch up.

I do want know what this change conundrum is about. So, I am going back to simplicity. I want to know God again. That's it. I want to see who God is and hear from him. Simpleness like children or pets. Haha I think pets have it so simple. Children and pets teach us great things about simplicity. There are no false motives with their actions. They want to eat play sleep poop. I always wondered what it feels like to live like a hunter or the days of Adam and Evebefore their fall. Maybe i would wonder what it would be like to not worry about what to eat tomorrow or get eaten.

Nonetheless, I want to know God for the sake of knowing God. This infinite character of God is mind blowing and frustrating sometimes. I hope I can post back with answers to my questions.

Myself

I get asked a lot of questions, more than I have gotten before. Some are difficult but some are easy. I was asked recently whats the toughest thing in serving exit. I didn't even have to think about this one. It was getting over myself. As a leader, I am suppose to give leadership that will lead the followers to Christ, but the trouble was that the very things people were looking for leadership in was something i was struggling with also. For example, I also struggle with accountability. To desire it and fight for it, it's a difficult thing for me also, and its even more difficult to lead people into it. its like saying something is really good when i am finding out how good it really is. I think I already know what I am suppose to do but I cant help but wonder why its so difficult. Nonetheless I will still be here. Later

Attitude

I watched atonement yesterday and I gotta say that was a pretty good movie. If you didn't see it and don't want to find out about it, don't read any further =D. I thought the way they shot the film was a big hit for me. They basically tell the story from one perspective and go back and tell it from another perspective. In the story, there are two people. These people are from the same house but totally different lives. One is the daughter of a wealthy old English family, and the other is the son of the servant family. Obviously they fall in love, but sequence of events lead them to separate for 4 years.Then, world war II happens. Then something bad happens. Now, these sequence of events started because of someone not wanting them together. The way movie presents the anger, sorrow, and blame is so relateable. There is a scene in the movie where the couple finally meets with that someone who ruined their lives and they just say all the things they want to say to that person. They tell that person what she should have done, what she will do. This is where I am just blown away. As I finished the movie, I came out with that it wasn't totally her fault. I wont go into full detail but I think something could have been done to avoid all the pain. Obviously, then that wont be a very good movie, but don't we find ourselves in similar situations? Something is going so wrong with our lives, and we blame the people around as the problem and the solution. "They need to do it." Think about how much easier it is for the character to blame the person partially at fault to own up to everything. The quarrels that we have is not from others but from our own damaged souls. Its not God's fault why we are here (where ever that may be). It is not others fault. It is your fault. haha it sounds so accusational but it isnt. We have to have to wisdom to see if we ourselves were involved to result to some current state. Maybe the other person is also at fault but we have to see it that we were involved so that we can forgive those that needs to be forgiven. I dont think all situations are similar to my thoughts but its so easy to be blindsighted by the anger and all the other emotions. The ending to the movie is quite suprising.

What's Next

Man, I've been realizing so much immaturity with our generation. When will we grow up to see our needs instead of our wants? I spent last weekend with my cousin at IKEA since he needed furniture for his room (its bare like India hostels), and i kept having to remind myself i don't need stuff like this. It was weird how i was drawn to it constantly. Money...it seems like the focus of our problems but its not. It's us. Money is just a tool that shows how immature we are. I find the bare minimum of giving to be a difficult thing because i think its mine! haha simplest way i could voice my thoughts. I wonder how it would look if we saw everything in our lives as God's and not our own. It seems impossible...There are so many sayings we have from the bible that have no weight in our lives.

Had a conversation with a friend and he was saying how he saw everything he had with no ownership. It seems so unreal that i couldn't completely believe that he will give EVERYTHING to those who need it. But why not? Why do these things Jesus calls up to do sound so radical? Is it cause we love him to some extent? Are the convictions overdone that they become bland as small talks?

God, work within us. help us to see